Machete Kills

MPAA/Content R [AC, AL, GV, N]

Distributor Open Road Films

Technical HD 1.85:1

Genres ACT THR COM

Runtime 107 mins.

Country USA

Budget $12M

 

CAST

Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Carlos Estevez (aka: Charlie Sheen), Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Demian Bichir, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr., William Sadler, Marko Zaror & Mel Gibson

 

CREDITS

Director: Robert Rodriguez; Screenwriter: Kyle Ward; Producers: Robert Rodriguez, Rick Schwartz, Sergei Bespalov, Alexander Rodnyansky, Aaron Kaufman & Illiana Nikolic; Director Of Photography: Robert Rodriguez; Production Designer: Steve Joyner; Editors: Robert Rodriguez & Rebecca Rodriguez; Costume Designer: Nina Proctor; Music Composers: Robert Rodriguez & Carl Thiel

 

THE SYNOPSIS

Mexican Federal Agents Machete Cortez (Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Alba) ambush a group of crooked US soldiers selling arms to the drug cartels when they are all ambushed by another group of mercenaries—led by a mysterious masked man, who kills Sartana with a laser blaster.

After the melee, Machete is arrested by corrupt Texas Sheriff Doakes (Sadler).  Before Doakes can hang him, Machete is rescued by the US Secret Service and whisked away to Washington D.C., where he is offered an immunity deal by smooth-talking President Rathcock (Estevez, aka Sheen).  The mission: eliminate psychopath cartel leader Marcos Mendez (Bichir) before he fires a nuke missile at Washington D.C.

Machete heads to San Antonio and hooks up with his handler—undercover beauty pageant competitor Blanca Vazquez (Heard)—who after seducing him, sends him secretly into Mexico to meet with Madame Desdemona (Vergara)…who tries to kill Machete when he grabs her daughter Cereza (Hudgens), who promised to lead Machete to Mendez.  Bad idea, as Mendez’s enforcer Zaror (Zaror) kills her on a whim before taking Machete to Mendez stronghold.

Turns out the bipolar Mendez has a special nuke missile detonator wired to his beating heart—so Machete grabs him and runs.  Chasing them are crazy Desdemona and her assassin prostitutes; Zaror and his men; and a mysterious, shapeshifting hitman called El Chameleón (Goggins, Gooding Jr., Lady Gaga, Banderas); and ultimately, Mendez’s silent partner—the wealthy, dastardly, charmingly-psychotic Luther Voz (Gibson).

Mendez is killed, but his heart preserved via technology so as to control the nuke detonation mechanism.  Machete escapes Voz’s clutches and teams up with old ally Luz (Rodriguez) and old enemy Osiris (Savini)—who aid Machete in fighting Voz—up to and including launching into outer space to continue the battle!

 

THE CRITIQUE

Chicka-boom, chicka-boom, chicka-boom wah-waaahhh…

Gravelly ‘70s trailer guy voice: Violence galore.  (Machete!)  Hot chicks who shoots bullets out of their metallic boobs.  (Machete!)  A boozy, horny president.  (Machete!)  A Mexican anti-hero who doesn’t tweet.  (Machete!)  It’s all here… in color… when MACHETE KILLS!    (Machete!)  See it, before he sees you…

Chicka-boom, chicka-boom, chicka-boom wah-waaahhh…

You can just feel my trailer in your mind, right?  This follow-up to the 2010 original Machete (itself based on a trailer concept from 2007’s underrated Grindhouse) is an amusing, hyper-violent Mexploitation flick brought to you by the talented multi-hyphenate/micro-movie auteur Robert Rodriguez (seriously—the guy co-authored, produced, directed, lensed, edited, scored and catered this production).

In his capable hands, MACHETE KILLS does a serviceable job showcasing all the exploitation goods (violence, blood, boobs, backsides, corny dialogue and throwaway lines).  As director, Rodriguez has become something of a Hispanic Woody Allen—in that he attracts thespians of all walks to work with him on these endeavors.

Hey, you can’t beat the cast—they’re all game.  Especially Machete himself, Danny Trejo.  I love this guy.  Sure he looks like an aging, leathery lizard with a big Cheech Marin moustache…but Trejo has carved himself (no pun intended) a nice career path working with Rodriguez.  And yes, the ladies all look fantastic, clothed or not!!  Loved all those cameos too.  Casting Mel Gibson as the villain may actually help him in his long road to Hollywood redemption.  Look what its done for Charlie Estevez…er, Sheen.  Nice touch using his real surname—although I think he may have stretched a bit playing a loquacious, boozy hornbag.  Just saying…

Shot in 29 days, production values on this low-budgeted $12 million (imdb.com) endeavor are solid across the board.  MACHETE KILLS, made on location in Texas, was lensed in HD by Rodriguez himself.  I always respected Rodriguez as a cinematographer for his lensing and lighting style.  In this case, he utilized the popular ARRI Alexa Plus camera system to capture clean imagery and good texture.

I’m also a big fan of Rodriguez the editor, cutting his movies in a hybrid style of Peckinpah films and music videos.  This one is no exception—sharing the duties with his own sister Rebecca (who also co-edited Machete).  Other tech credits are right where they need to be; the VFX are appropriately tacky and well-executed too.

The real issue I have with MACHETE KILLS is that it’s been done already—by the same people no less.  The original movie surely had its exploitative charm, but this one felt a tad more auto-pilot.  Should the blame fall to screenwriter Kyle Ward (Agent 47, Kane & Lynch)—or to über-hyphenate Rodriguez?  Well, who’s running the ship?  [pause]  There you go.

Still, the movie is entertaining enough to sit through.  And with the threat—er, promise—of Machete Kills Again… In Space looming, I’m sure that Rodriguez will be frying up more tacos for the event.  Yes, he even caters his own productions!

 

THE BOTTOM LINE

MACHETE KILLS is an entertaining, but hollow sequel to its quirky predecessor.  The backhanded compliment can work in the movie’s favor if you’re into trash cinema (like I am).  If you’re not…than MACHETE KILLS will feel more like MACHETE ILLS!  Yes, I made a funny…  I just hope that Machete doesn’t come around looking for retribution!

 

IMDB:                    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2002718/

Wikipedia:             http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machete_Kills

Official Site:          http://machetekillsmovie.tumblr.com